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CHAPTER 35
    quot;ter never breat; t t I found te to be true.  alive and at one ess and Eded tudio to ion and at t;You ; Over t eal, regenerating it constantly from to confess, seeking to craft a texture t o explain. I felt t if s ory in tess and and forgive. In my studio, I could take refuge at tains to feel safe and whe music.

    By time, I ra—a impani from Carnegie-Mellon, a feo perform t ed. After Edess took  to o give me time alone in to finis a crapped in  out of ion, living in ternal life locked to all communication side reality.

    After struggling for years to find t stolen c across tes on taves a marvel of matical beauty and precision. tories told at time—ter erpoint. My met to juxtapose eacs double, for t is not reality. Sometimes our ts and dreams are more real t of our experience, and at ots t o e fast enougo capture tes t floing as amanuensis. I  to fully transcribe to assign all of trumentation—tasks t migake monto perfect—but tial process of setting doed, as if in a s relentless logic, strange to to me e all along.

    At five oclock t afternoon,  and , I  to tctle of beer, and drank it on tairs. My plan , ty spaces ivity and accomplis. Moments after stepping into t sairs. it turning off ter, I stepped out, o, and o investigate. One of tains. , I stood til a sudden discordant ened me, as if a cat , but tudio y and silent. I took a long look around.

    t on table , not fallen to t any tary page fluttered across t to see. ubbed my toe on t on a piece of gl
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