my moter  of all our names (togetive notes) seo t, scrupulously referred to me by my baptismal name il o tcallied ailed caking off .

    quot;Jason, cigarettes.quot;

    t , leapt into darkness; came ter. tip of tte gloraffic-ligOP -- and tals on anotrembled but did not fall.

    quot;Forced into myself, I became bookiso ttle of ink, laboriously added steel-rimmed spectacles to te beside my name in ory. Cy spectacles. I was so ashamed.

    quot;But I o me t I carried t to my , beneaty vest from t above t, for  eacumn.

    quot;My mind gre my isolation increased. I could not communicate my love, my able lust for t, tellect, s -- nor, indeed, eaced. t my eyes, teeth.

    quot; teettering lig a penny candle? Or a s -- one forgets.quot;

    Again tive.

    quot;Life  on. t peonies of trual flos gretle soft curls.

    quot;I stared at my reflection in Dapples trougook off my spectacles and pulled te face and topknot and I iful woman w know.

    quot;Jason, t;

    , fair, delicate -- struck matcicks sprang to life.

    ed mask of beauty. Eyes bluer tained lids, precise discs of scarlet on e c s of iara. And te breasts, exposed to t fell away from highs.

    Siful as Venus rising from ted picture by Botticelli, only more so. Siful as ted bust of Nefertiti in tiful as tatue of ted Mic gazes on traffic of Milan y, only more so.

    Sloe in tray on tive.

    quot;At fifteen, I  y on ting pond, in a canoe, at ed about Plato, ion in ter.